Va, or Isvara-pranidhanad va

This is my first blog post... it is meant to be an exploration of my Inner Journey, as well as notes on what I say and yak about during my yoga classes... which is always a reflection of whatever it is I am going through. One of my good friends suggested that I write about what I talk about - and so here is my first go.

Stretching into Janu Sirsasana
Last Saturday helping someone with Janu Sirsasana... a forward fold with one leg extended - I started talking about how much we fight our way into being flexible. And this only creates more tension and stiffens the body - and so the very thing that we want - to reach and extend our bodies and consciousness - we make hard by forcing our way into it. One of my friends is always telling me you can't storm the gates of heaven...

But this constant fighting and working and sweating and struggling seems to be all we know how to do... Or.. or Va, you just stop fighting and surrender yourself to the will of Isvara (God, in my book) and merge your desires to the Divine.

Or

Yah, right! Surrender to the Divine... letting go of all of my ego's needs for acceptance and love, for a decent place in society, of fitting in...

Or

Sure, merging with the Divine does not mean you'll automatically be some sort of freak, no bleeding in the middle of your hands and feet. But in my experience, it has meant breaking away from what is the norm. I'm no longer going after the money and the fame... I've dropped out, essentially, from the career ladder. And with that I've had to contend with all of the marginalization. I'm living now at the edges.... you know, where you write down your own thoughts to argue with the author.

Or

Honestly, as I told my yoga students, we really don't have a choice. There is no Va... We surrender consciously OR because we have to - because at some point, we've had our knees knocked out from underneath us so many times that we start to think that just maybe there is a power or presence out there that might do a better job than we do at guiding our hearts, minds and spirits.

Or

Maybe it is just that after living through a lot - the usual stuff we all go through ~ addictions, lost loves, abusive relationships, etc - you just surrender, because hell! That's all you CAN DO.

Or... Va....

It's a daily commitment and often a struggle to surrender. But, as I tell my fellow yoga students, I try to let go. I pray and meditate. It's work... sure - lots of work to direct myself into this higher power. But how can we receive the blessings with closed fists? And so the work is to relax and become fully alive in this presence.

Yoga, I think, begins to get us there. Working a pose gets us there. Surrendering into a pose gets us there. But it will ALL get us there, like or not... this path Or that path. We can't get off the path toward enlightment. The OR is in how we get there. Like it or not, we're here to grow.